May 5, 2011

whatever ur decision could later repent urself

i am a great procrastinator
sometime i ask maself like, "Naz, why do u delay this task?"
i just dont know whether ma heart, or ma mind, or maybe ma soul is controlling me?
its just like, "I'll do it later". 
its like, "I'll make it after this".
its like. "Nobody starts, so am i".
its like, "I can finish it even the dateline is about to come". 

i always feel like, while im doing something else which is excluded in d 'list-to-do', a sharp guilt feeling diffuse ma heart gently. bit. by bit. slow like u inhale.
yes i know that. but then i ignore it until it come to reach a peak feeling. 
a peak feeling that could stimulate out d adrenaline so vigor that im not be able to cope it.
a feeling that trigger ma nerves outside ma mind control i cant even pause ma muscle to rest.
a terrible feeling that i think people around scold n blame for what i delayed. 
n look so pale i didn’t realize it.

ohh why am i always being like this. T_T
i want to get rid this habit. i hate it. 
i am working on it.

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