best buddy but..

what would you think or what would u probably act when your best buddy seemed like running away/ avoiding u/ do nothing (wat bodo) whenever it relates to some sensitive issues e.g: money? 

recently i faced this condition where me, and other 3 besties agreed to pay kind of bond-agreement between one of the communication government agencies somewhere in Malaysia.

we were just moved to a new place for a couple of months (studying matter). everything was done with  positive agreements. tasks were assigned justly. every materials bought were spent evenly. 

sound pretty fair and that part was totally okay. 

until one day we signed the contract form and agreed to install this streamyx in the house. 

since we spent so much time working, we didn't fully utilize the streamyx. 

as a consequences, we've got to pay every single bills coming every month. there was no way to terminate the line and pay as far until the current month we were in. since we have accepted the terms and condition, so there's no escape. even if we could terminate, we still have to pay the penalty as much as the whole contract period counted.

 it took almost 2 years asking their part of money. yes, almost 2 years this 'hutang' burdened me and all the responsibilities were on my shoulders. some of us had no probs taking out money. but this one particular buddy, seemed couldn't be brought for negotiation. mumbled. and started to keep distance from me.

the agency people kept calling me. as for warning letters? uncountable. i have begged that particular buddy and reminded how this situation really bother me. but every text messages regarding that issue had a negative feedback. 

until one day, a man introduced himself a lawyer from a law agency in KL. he would bring this issue up and present a court letter to me if i couldn't clear all bills by tomorrow afternoon! arghhh! 

i got less than 24 hours! i immediately texted that particular buddy, again. as usual, a great disappointment. 

i just didn't have a clue how the way that particular buddy thinks. didn't that particular buddy feel guilty or anything? this matter relates money. and for me, that was a big amount. it was not of ringgits, but hundreds. and that amount was that particular buddy's part.

personally, i am aware of this owing issue. i don't like owing myself to a friend who needed money. i would as much as i could to repay back once i got enough to pay them. this occurs vice versa. this is serious issue. any owing issues would be brought until the end of the life.

 it will be counted there. sigh*.

i paid the bill using my own for that particular buddy. i texted that particular buddy soon after the payment, hoping that, that particular buddy concerns my tight condition. but received no reply.

alhamdulillah i am still here. not in cell or something.
(couldn't imagine how it's like if i didn't manage to pay the bill off). 

thinking it back, why this happened to me. did i do the same to any other friends previously? did i hurt somebody? i believe perhaps i did it unconsciously. and if it's true, i'm sorry for those who've been hurt.
but above all this, i believe that He has planned a good track for me and all i have to do is 'redha'. 

semua ini ada hikmahnya. i believe He wants to help me by first, giving this small test. 

i should sow my heart a good intention, make it as sedekah. yes aku redha.
maybe that particular buddy was/is facing something hard that particular buddy couldn't bear. who knows.
i don't know. 

and thus, i should not be overjudge. 

i believe, if that particular buddy realize this, that particular buddy will always be my best buddy ever. 

awesomeness! i'm addicted to that!

oh yeahsss.. 

recently, i spent my evening for a couple of hours at swimming pool, USM.

i was very eager to learn how to swim, which is one of my several goals. 

my roommates are the best companions. luckily we have an auxiliary activity.

after spending like 2 to 3 days continuous training, two weeks straight, i think that i'm getting used to it. kind of know how the concept of swimming i should take care of. its not as hard as i thought! walla!
knowing how to control the breathing and how to control the body floating is like awesome!

the most excitement is diving part. laying down the body touching the pool floor is like woahhh!!!
i'm sinking! and groveling! Lil Fiance was the one who taught me that.
yeah. a moment of joy i could crawl and explore the water-world. go deeper and pull up my body with a very little energy to the surface, nice and easy. wonderful. 

as for swimming, at first, i was like 'tak bolehla'. i always got problem with my hip. whenever the hip should be dipped underwater, it goes up. little tense to me. i can never stabilize the body if i couldn't control that part.  i have no confidence at all. ye la kan, watching other people swimming like athlete of course made me a bit down. felt like oh my, that woman is my great competitor! that man is so show off! thinking of it, who am i to compare with those expert pro fellas whom century-ly live with water! 

so i started to make a move by copying those fellas. sinking myself underwater, watch and learn how they move the arms and legs through the lens of goggles. how these body parts are functioning in order to get the movement and play the water flows. 

it came the time where my Lil Fiance joined and taught us. the best and simple swim i have ever learned. i called it Joe's style. it was hard for me to learn the 'katak' style as it requires me to control arms and legs and make them synchronously in time. i found it hard. however, the way Lil Fiance taught is way much easier. i don't have to push and eject so much energy upon moving. just exhale a bit and the body will fall and sink slowly, whenever the body floats up, that's the time to inhale. 

honestly, i hate jogs! but finally i found an evening exercise that gives me so much pleasure. i couldn't feel so much exhausted as jog does. i feel no sweat. as the sweats mix with water kan. lol. i enjoyed dipping myself into the pool.

i could say swimming burns more calories than other activity. for me lah. because u will never feel tired and fatigued which is, your body tries to access some muscles' hidden energy when u are in water. your body releases heat, but we can still be active as the coldness of water neutralized the uneasyness.  :)

apart from that, the significant of swimming is, it makes me active after each round. i feel energized. once i pulled myself out of pool, i bear my own weight, of course heavier than in the water. to train the cardiovascular system and blood circulation, that's the routine.

from this routine, i appreciate life, especially student's life.
i should never hold up any tasks and never compromise with procrastination. that's what i feel. 

believe or not, when u are active, u will unconsciously train yourself of discipline and committed to your job. assignments!

furthermore, we can avoid sleeping after a'sar. that's the important part. 

nak jadi gila ka? tidoq lepas a'saq? 

alhamdulillah...one year engaged

alhamdulillah after all we've been through, the bond gets tighter and we've managed to know and accept each other. 

all praise to Him. for giving us chance in improving the relationship since that day, years ago. 

yeah like many other couple. arguments are fundamentals. u will feel nothing without cari pasal in one day. all for the sake of seeking his attention. i was like that. 

and i am still like that. :) 

i know sometimes my habit go beyond the limit and he can get really mad because i had made him confused n blurr. i made him like he doesn't know who i am and what i want. 

deep inside my heart, i felt guilty. but it was too late to say sorry. serve me right. i was given a free lecture. 

at least, i got him. i got his attention. ahaha.  

with all your wishes, i hope the relationship stay strong until the big day.

insyaAllah..

what an ethicless driver!

this four and a half hours journey started from Sg Nibong bus station, Penang.

i sat comfortably as i found my seat. after 2 hours journey, the bus stopped for a couple of minutes for break. i went down n bought some food.
while eating, a bus conductor shouted, alerted us whom heading to shah alam and klang, shift to the bus next to us.

oh god, i have predicted this and i knew this would happen to me. never mind, i stopped eating and packed my karipap for a while.

i stepped in the other bus and took an empty seat near a girl. continued eating. grab my earphone, plugged it in to my android and listened to fm radio. but couldn't enjoy the songs clearly as there was fluctuating frequency along the way.

i fell asleep effortlessly.

suddenly i visualized myself trapped in a glass box fit my body. cigarette smoke spreading inside n surrounded me from nowhere. i couldn't breath right. seeking some oxygen. i saw myself kicking the glass box.
my hand pushed, knocked and tried to smash the box hardly.

when i opened my eyes, there was actually real cigarette smoke flew by. very strong stink smell. this is real bother. i sneaked around figuring out where the heck it came from. oh my, there was the driver! the driver was smoking happily!

only god knows how mad i am at that moment. the worst part was, a clear plate sign was well hung right above the bus entrance mentioning "NO SMOKING". labelled with a photo of that stick with a red slash. like no parking label. 

hahahampeh!

is it okay to smoke? 

you were pleasingly present that attitude which also reflect the personality of other drivers. how come? you didn't alert the sign, did you? or, you didn't know what the sign try to convey? oh well, could be!
what really disappointing is, where is the ethic?

perhaps in your mind, the smoke couldn't get to us as that small window on your right side was widely opened. perhaps in your thought, the smoke flew away just like that. no man! i don't think so. fyi, the smoke  could still flew in even you blow your lungs out of the window. 

maybe you didn't realize it. or, maybe u just ignored it. 

you are such a selfish!